The dreaded ARDS test. No matter what you read online about it being easy you can’t help think about it being your driving test all over again, except at much higher speeds. I was as prepared as I could be having watched the DVD a couple of times and read the Blue Book, and also memorised the meaning of all the flags – most of which you’ll know if you watch motor sport on the TV.
I had my test booked at Thruxton. Not ideal being in Derbyshire, but it was the only place that could do the test at such short notice and on a Saturday. I travelled down on the Friday night and stayed in a nearby Travelodge. I originally wanted to book an extended ARDS course where you have tuition in the morning and the test in the afternoon but they were not able to offer this at the time, so instead I had a driving experience booked in the morning in a Mazda RX-8, and the test itself in the afternoon. I did this because I’d never been to Thruxton before, and never even driven it in a racing sim either so it was completely new. My only preparation was watching some clips on YouTube.
After the patronising safety briefing (for anyone who knows anything about driving anyway, otherwise it will be a cramming session for you and a period of worry for anyone else that sees you taking notes) we headed to the car where I mentioned to my instructor I was taking an ARDS test in the afternoon. Instantly he changed tact, changing the session from a driving experience into a driving lesson. I’d done experiences before and the difference was incredible. He was concentrating on different things and teaching me how to get the most from the track instead of just enjoying the car. I also learnt the turn in cones on track days are placed slightly later than the real turn in point to make the corner sharper, thus slowing you down. It will sound silly to anyone who plays racing sims but using the full width of the track in real life is much harder than it looks. Eventually it twigs and you realise the faster you go, the more track you naturally want to use. At first it feels like you don’t need all the track, but given a few laps you’re wishing it was a bit wider and those kerbs weren’t quite as harsh.
The Mazda RX-8 was a lovely car too. I knew from all the motoring reviews it was a good car but experiencing it for yourself puts things into perspective. I’m not sure if I would want one for day to day driving as the rotary engine, apart from drinking like a camel, also produces very little torque meaning the engine has to be revved. This was another thing I was impressed with. You hear stories about driving experience days giving you the keys to a car you’ve paid a lot of money to experience, and then limiting you to 4,000 rpm completely defeating the point. Not so at Thruxton. I was able, in fact told, to take it to the redline – all 9,000 revs. For the money you also got a lot of track time too. Another complaint is £150 buys you some time in a hot hatch, and just three laps in the supercar. My session was no different to anyone elses and you got some laps driven by the instructor showing you the lines, then 7 laps driving yourself, a short break for reflection, and 7 more laps before the instructor took you out for a high speed lap, and really put things into perspective. I also had a passenger ride in a Madza 3 MPS which was, how can I put it, surprising. It was quick in a straight line, but nothing could prepare you for the grip the thing generated on road tyres. It was truly biblical.
After spending some more time with my head in the MSA Blue Book I went in search of some dinner (that’ll be the Little Chef then) before returning for my ARDS test in the afternoon. They had placed me in a slot right at the end of the day so the circuit would be empty from the supercars, with only a handful of slower cars circulating. It meant I had to wait, but there wouldn’t be much worry about passing and letting past other cars.
The first part of the test is in the classroom where you watch the DVD while the instructor pauses the video at various key points to make comments and ask questions. After this I was shown to the car, hoping it would be the Mazda again but it wasn’t – it was a Porsche Cayman, or a Porsche Coxster if you’re a Top Gear fan. Things started off in a similar way to the Mazda – the instructor drove a couple of steady laps before we swapped seats. This is when I realised the difference in quality between a Mazda and a Porsche. The Mazda was good, very good in fact, but the Porsche was on a completely different level. And it made a nice sound. For this part of the test you basically have to drive a number of smooth and steady laps at fast touring pace without going off. At the end of it the instructor must be happy with your driving to be willing to start a race alongside you. With a quiet circuit I just had to keep it on the island, circulating slower than I was in the morning as outright speed isn’t important. After a couple of clean laps he pulled me into the pits and delivered the news – I’d past. Whoo!
The next part of course is the written test. Would this be easier or harder than the driving part? Different people say different things, but the general impression is it’s fairly easy. The test starts with descriptions of all the flags and you have to write down what the flag is, and whether it’s stationary or waved. You need 100% on this part to pass but it is all covered word for word in the Blue Book. The next part is multiple choice questions covering safety, general driving and racing questions. You don’t need 100%, but I’m going to brag a little because that’s what I got 
Some questions are straight forward and run along the lines of
You have an accident and damage your helmet. Do you
- Tape over the crack and use it again.
- Sell it to a competitor.
- Wear it at the pub and pretend you’re the Stig.
- Dispose of it and purchase another one.
while others do require a bit more thinking, but if you wear your common sense hat you shouldn’t have any problems what so ever.
So test passed, stamp collected – I’m now a racing driver. God help us all!
