Don’t get me wrong, Mallory Park is a really nice place. It’s a fun circuit, the views from the paddock over the lake are beatiful and the paddock cafe is awesome, but on this particular weekend it wasn’t really ‘the friendly circuit’.

Things started with Triumph Live, an event held on Saturday which was ending with a music concert in the evening. Normally everyone decends on the track the evening before to setup, have a few drinks and not have to worry about getting up early in the morning. With them holding Triumph Live before I expected we would only be allowed in later in the evening once the paddock had been cleared, not 8pm late and this would be strictly enforced. Quite how they expect you to find your way to and around a pitch black paddock I don’t know, so needless to say everyone was dragging themselves out of bed and setting off early in the morning. One plus though was Mumford & Sons were playing at the concert so I asked if we’d be able to get in and see that. ‘Not unless you pay the £29 entry fee no’ was the answer. OK then, thanks, it’s not like we’re not paying several hundred to go racing tomorrow, and we can hear it from the paddock anyway. Thankfully they do have friendly people at Mallory, and when I asked the question again on the phone they didn’t see any problems in us seeing the concert if we just explained to the people on the gates. Excellent. As it happened we didn’t get to see the concert as it was raining hard all evening, and me and Ian didn’t really fancy setting up tents on a cold, dark and wet night. So an early Sunday morning arrival it was.

Things were looking good in the morning. The car was prepped, passed scrutineering and we had loads of time spare. A quick drive up and down the paddock also showed the wheel alignment was pretty good too. Stuart Knibbs from Vader Trophy also came down to have a nosy after he got caught up in some erupting volcano at the last meeting (very inconsiderate timing of the volcano really). Just before qualifying he witnessed the fun and games that was deciding on tyre pressures. It was a colder than average day with rain in the air, but there were sunny intervals. This would mean we’d normally raise the tyre pressures compared to the baking hot days at Castle Combe and Cadwell Park, but they don’t have Gerrards – the never ending turn one that eats tyres quicker than the honey monster eats, erm, honey. We settled on some settings and headed into the assembly area where Mo’s tent took flight into the assembly area. Never a dull moment in the Stoner Racing camp.

Qualifying itself was a slightly hairy affair. You’ve guessed it, the tyre pressures were too high and the back end was quite lively through Gerrards. It was OK on the turn in, but half way round the back end would randomly step out of line. Great for honing reaction times. Not so great for keeping your underpants clean.

About 20 mins before the first race Ian noticed some of the coolant pipes had collapsed so set about completing the worlds fastest coolant bleed. Obviously he works well under pressure because he got it sorted. We had also corrected the tyre pressures to what we had used in the past, and it worked brilliantly. The car gripped throughout Gerrards and carried some great speed. The start was a little close through there though. Being on the inside is possibly an advantage but means you can get sequeezed which I did, onto the bit of tarmac on the inside which I knew disapepared very soon. I got myself back onto the proper bit of tarmac just as Matt Smith was wrestling for control. Some jiggling around and a very slight bumper rub and we somehow we made it without anyone being fired off into the scenery. The next bit of entertainment was going through Gerrards again with someone on my outside. Predictably I was squeezed to the inside against the grass which is OK, but they then wanted to squeeze me more. The grass at that speed didn’t look particurarly inviting so I held my place. Cue an almighty bang and a wobble from the other car. It sounded expensive, but in actual fact it was just the sound of the wing mirror folding back and a slight dent on the wing, although there were some almighty impresive tyre marks on my door, wing and front left wheel.

The rest of the race was spent battling with Roger Pullan and Matt Garnham. This was some epic racing that saw us enter the hairpin several times in some impossible situations, but we got away with it every time because we are uber talented . This battle did take its toll on my car though. Exiting the hairpin I saw the temperature gauge scary high, getting very close to the red. I backed off, put it in 5th gear and set about cruising into the pit lane to retire, when to my delight I saw the chequred flag. My next concern was getting back into the paddock as there is normally a queue, and this is when I saw steam coming from the engine bay. You’ve never seen a man turn an engine off so quickly before. Some very nice marshalls pushed me on my way, and Ian got the shock of his life when I returned without a car. ‘It overheated’ I said. ‘Did it go in the red?’ Ian replied. ‘Oh no, not into the red. [long pause] It went off the end of the gauge’. Stuart was then put to use with his car pushing abilities and we set about finding out what had gone wrong and if we could make the second race.

Meanwhile, in the Stoner Racing camp Ross was prancing around like a man who drove the race with an army of wasps in his helmet. It turns out whilst alongside Sarah Wherry she decided to turn right to overtake another car, effectively forcing him off the road at well over 100 mph. Amused he was not. And neither was Jon Winter from a similar incident which ended in a broken track rod, but unlike Lewis Hamilton at Monza he kept it out of the scenery. See, F1 managers should be looking at MR2 racing, not GP2!

Back to the woes of number 36, or my car if you don’t know my number. First off we replaced the radiator cap with a new one from Mo which kindly Stuart paid for (I think I’ve run dry of Mo’s freebies, but he has given me a lot of stuff over the season which I’m greatful for). We then discovered the root cause of the problem – a gigantic hole in the radiator. I thought that was pretty terminal for my second race chances, but Mo who was busy chewing gum at the rate of knots had other ideas – he would plug the hole with chewing gum. One hole plugged and guess what? Another one appeared. Ian plugged that one with gasket paste. Two holes plugged and guess what? A third one appeared! Mo came rushing back with his jaw in full chewing action and plugged the third hole with more gum. Guess what? No more leaks!! It seems we had found the root cause of all the overheating problems – a leaky radiator sucking in air which was getting progressively worse.

With all the radiator holes plugged and the cooling system bled for the 100th time the car ran faultlessly in race 2, held together with chewing gum and more gasket paste. What’s that saying again? It’s only a bodge if it doesn’t work.